How I used to choose partners VS how I Choose Partners now

The one that got away. It tells a lot about how I use to choose partners.

This was quite a few years ago…

I had a connection with a guy and I REALLY liked him.

I didn’t want to show him how much I actually liked him, so I played it cool, matched his energy.

He was so confusing. He said all the right things, treated me like his girlfriend, then would completely go cold. 🔥❄️

Then pop back up and we could pick up where we left off.

I was SO into him, I would take whatever attention from him I could get.

BUT - this really confused me. I was used to having the upper hand with men.

It also confused me that I liked him SO much (I had so many walls up that I was used to not feeling much).

I would imagine what it would be like if we were really together, day dream of him expressing him love for me, taking me to his family dinners, etc. 💭💭

Eventually, after many months of these hot & cold cycles and going CRAZY in my head trying to figure out what was going on… I asked where we stood and he acted confused and told me “I was a good friend”.

Yep. Cool cool cool. 💔

What’s interesting is WHY I was choosing him and was so “crazy” about him.

My choice was based on these things:

• ✔️ I was very attracted to him and we had great chemistry

• ✔️ I felt a “connection”

• ✔️ I liked who he was in the community, he was well-known and had a “cool” friend group

See the problem? NOTHING based off how he treated me or his qualities.

This is where SO MANY WOMEN go wrong.

❌ DO NOT make this mistake! ❌

In order to attract secure men, I started choosing partners based off:

• ✔️ Attraction + chemistry

• ✔️ The qualities that person held & their character

• ✔️ How he treats me, how I feel around him

• ✔️ If we were compatible long-term

And what do ya know… I attracted the ideal partner QUICK when I made these changes.

Learn from my mistakes — do not chase the guy who is going to remind you “you are just friends” month into trying to win him over.

Want me to teach you my ways? Join the waitlist for Radiant Relationship Academy!