Dating after Divorce, Spotting Red Flags, and No More Settling with RRA Graduate, Meg Gill

I recently had the pleasure of sitting down with Meg Gill, a Radiant Relationship Academy (RRA) graduate who has transformed her approach to love and relationships through deep personal work. In our conversation, Meg opened up about her journey before and after joining the academy, sharing the profound changes she's experienced and the wisdom she's gained along the way. Her story is a powerful example of what can happen when we commit to healing and growth.

I’m very excited to share my interview with her today.

Meleah: To start, let’s explore a little bit what life was like before Radiant Relationship Academy. I think this really helps normalize some of the things we experience in relationship and helps people to connect and put some of the pieces together. What were romantic relationships like for you before RRA?

Meg: I had two very wonderful men in my life early on in high school and college, and these were men that gave me the world. They were so sweet. They were attentive. And at that point in my life, I had been around my father who was very emotionally unavailable, it was an unstable environment.

So I felt like, oh, that's uncomfortable. I don't know what that is. That's unfamiliar to me. And so I became more avoidant towards the really wonderful, healthy men. And I would become attached to men who were more avoidant towards me, or they would be emotionally unavailable, just like my father. So the man that I ended up marrying, although he's a wonderful father and very present and very available in that aspect, in a marriage, I think we both just I didn't really see eye to eye when it came to that emotional, physical connection. And really, the men that I've dated before RRA were basically guys that would meet my bare minimum, or I would be putting more effort into the relationship, and that was okay. They were basically another child of mine. I allowed toxic behavior. I allowed a lot of different things into those relationships because I just didn't want to be alone or I was anxiously attached.

I had that fear of abandonment because of my upbringing. The way that I navigated dating before RRA was very, very different than what I'm doing now.

Meleah: What was it that really drew you to doing this work for yourself, for diving into RRA, for being ready to start doing dating and relationships differently?

Meg: I had had a relationship end right after my marriage, and that was it for me. I'm done. I'm not doing this anymore. I deserve so much better. I'm sick of hurting. I'm sick of being treated this way. I was just tired and done. And I had already done some healing work before I met you, and I had been looking for someone to guide me along the way. I was really targeting inner child work, and I had just started reading up on somatic embodiment and somatic movement.

And when I met you… It was better than therapy, in my opinion. I had been in therapy, and I think everyone should be in therapy, find the right therapist, be specific on what you're looking for first and then go along that route. But when I met you, I got something more than that, because in my opinion, standard therapy that's out there, it doesn't necessarily give you the tools to integrate so that you can eventually not go to therapy and you can live a healthy lifestyle.

Meleah: What were some of the first steps that you took where you really started to see change?

Meg: The journaling and the breathwork that you taught in the container is really what helped me.

And I met with you individually, trying to work through my nervous system and rewiring my relationship patterns.

That method and that training that you led me on has been so beneficial and impactful in my life because I think a lot of us haven't been taught how to self-regulate as children because our parents didn't, and our parents' parents didn't. And this is where we break the mold. But I think I started realizing the patterns when I really started writing everything down and getting it out of my head.

Meleah: How are you now applying what you’ve learned in dating and in relationship?

Meg: RRA helped me list out my non-negotiables. This is what I'm looking for in a partner. And if this person doesn't have it, then the search continues. And along with my non-negotiables of what, I guess, character traits, personality traits, and in morals and values that this person possesses, is also my own boundaries, my internal and external boundaries. And I'm still working on some of those because one of my boundaries is knowing when to walk away. I think a lot of women give benefit of the doubt of like, “Oh, well, he had a hard childhood”, or, “Oh, it was just this one time, he had a stressful day”. My discernment now is I'm going to have a conversation every single time I'm feeling like, Hey, this was weird for me. Let's sit down and talk about this.

I've certainly learned how to voice my needs from the very beginning and practicing my discernment whenever something feels wrong or off.

Meleah: Is there any advice you have on navigating being a single mom dating again, on where the boundaries are there?

Meg: Finding a partner is a priority of mine, but it's not a priority over my child. So really connecting or finding connections with men who understand that and are also open to that aspect in my life.

The best piece of my life is my child. So on my dating app, I share that. I say, this is my dynamic. I have a healthy co-parenting dynamic. I'm looking for someone who has shared family values, all of the things. I don't hide the fact that I'm a mom.

When it comes to introducing my child and involving my child, I have very strict boundaries on that. I have not had someone meet my kid before. I other than the serious relationship that I was in a few years ago.

As we wrapped up our conversation, it was clear that Meg’s journey is a testament to the power of self-awareness, healing, and the courage to demand more from life and love. Her experience in Radiant Relationship Academy not only reshaped her approach to relationships but also reinforced her belief in her own worthiness of deep, fulfilling connections.

If you resonate with Meg’s story and are ready to transform your own approach to love, consider joining the waitlist for Radiant Relationship Academy. This is your opportunity to step into a new chapter of empowered, aligned relationships. Join the waitlist and take a step towards the love you truly deserve.